I used to think I was awkward at goodbyes… then I started using Zoom. 

For an app whose name implies speed, it sure takes a long time to exit a meeting. I’m not inept at using technology in any way, and I know I’m not the only one having this problem. 

You know by now what I’m referring to: that 3-5 second window of agony on Zoom between when everyone has said their goodbyes and when they are actually able to click ‘leave meeting.’ The fear of coming across as rude for smashing the button too soon dominates. You think you’ve done your part, you think you’re safe, but no, there’s more. You now have to confirm that you want to leave the meeting. 

Every once in a while, like some kind of 21st century Russian roulette, everyone else has managed to exit and you are left with one or two other unfortunate souls who now feel obliged to say goodbye again! This is the worst kind of torture I could of ever possibly imagined, and even Satan himself is like “No, no that’s too much torture.” By this point I’m realizing that traditional Russian roulette would have been much more appealing.

So fuck Zoom! Fuck its awkward goodbyes! And fuck my lagging WiFi for making me one of the last people to leave the meeting like I’m one of the gross tea leaves left at the bottom of a delicious cup of oolong! 

Side note, does anyone have the password to the New Hope meeting tonight?